KANSAS CITY, Mo. – Benny Feilhaber doesn't come across as the sentimental type, even when asked what his first Father's Day means to him.
But the experience of becoming a dad has changed him, Sporting Kansas City's star playmaker says matter-of-factly, and he's already looking forward to Round Two.
“It's something that gives you responsibility,” Feilhaber told reporters on Friday, during the club's weekly news conference. “It makes you, I think, more of a selfless person. When you're playing on the field, when you're getting prepared for a game, you definitely think about your family and why you're doing this, and it's not just for you any more.
“When you're growing up, you're single and you're young, you're playing for yourself. You're playing, obviously, for your teammates, but you're trying to succeed to improve your career, earn more money, be more successful. All those things may still be true, but now you're doing it for somebody else, so it kind of gives you a little more added responsibility. I think dads in general try to do that for their family. So it helps out, I think, mentally more than anything.”
Feilhaber won't be home for his first Father's Day. Instead, Sporting Kansas City's playmaker will be in Sandy, Utah, on Sunday, looking to extend his club's six-match unbeaten run in MLS play when Sporting take on Real Salt Lake (10 pm ET, Fox Sports 1).
Five days after that, Feilhaber and his wife, Michelle, will celebrate daughter Sofia's first birthday.
Perhaps it's coincidental, solely the result of becoming fully integrated into Sporting's high-pressure system since his arrival before the 2013 season, but at age 30, Feilhaber the father is playing the best ball of his career.
He was a rare constant in Sporting's injury-riddled 2014 season, missing only three matches and finishing with four goals and six assists, and has turned that level of production up several notches so far this year – even if it hasn't been enough for US national team coach Jurgen Klinsmann to give him a call-up for this summer's CONCACAF Gold Cup, a snub to which the 2010 World Cup veteran has become accustomed.
“I don't expect to get called in,” said Feilhaber, who was a national team mainstay under former coach Bob Bradley but hasn't played for the Nats since the 2014 January camp. “Jurgen's showed in the past that he doesn't rate me as a player, at least doesn't fit me into his national team scheme. I've told you guys several times before: You should ask him that question. I don't have the answer to it. But I don't expect to get called in, no.”
Even so, his club production in 2015 is a big reason Sporting continue to move up the Western Conference standings.
Feilhaber has a career-high five goals, second on the team. He also has matched his career high with seven assists – eight across all competitions, after assisting on Graham Zusi's match-winner in Tuesday's 1-0 win over Saint Louis FC in U.S. Open Cup play – and the season isn't even at its halfway mark.
Even as a father-to-be, Feilhaber – who played himself into shape and into Sporting fans' favor in 2013 after being traded from the New England Revolution – was rounding into the form that has made him one of the league's most dangerous No. 10s, capping that comeback season with solid stretch play in Kansas City's run to their first MLS Cup title since 2000.
“Even before, when my wife was pregnant with Sofia – MLS Cup, we were pregnant at that time – it's something that you definitely think about,” he said. “You obviously want to make your family proud, and obviously, your kid as well. So I think it's just kind of in the back of my head. But I'm not a guy that on game day is thinking, 'Look, this game is big because of my daughter and my wife.' But it's definitely in the back of my head. Like I said, you're doing it for more than just yourself.”
And before too much longer, Feilhaber hopes to be doing it for yet another child – though he also has no regrets about not becoming a father earlier.
“I always said that I wanted to have a kid when I was 30, so I had one when I was 29,” he said. “And I've told Michelle that hopefully we can have two before Sofia's 2. I'd like to have them close together. So I don't know. We'll start talking about that sooner rather than later, but two kids around 31 is always what I kind of imagined, and so it's falling into place.”
Steve Brisendine covers Sporting Kansas City for MLSsoccer.com.
